My sister Ruth dragged me to the Benton County fair for funnel cake, nine years after I buried my son Caleb. We were standing by the 4-H goat pen, watching a girl struggle to keep a frantic Nubian kid inside its enclosure. It was loud, chaotic, and smelled like damp hay and cheap perfume. I was just trying to remember how to be a person who enjoyed things when a boy, maybe ten years old, turned around to look at the goat. He had a crescent birthmark under his left ear. It was identical to the one Caleb had.