The smell of antiseptic and burnt coffee always stays in your nose longer than it should. I woke up at 3:41 in the morning with my right side feeling like someone had run a row of hot staples right through my ribs. My mouth tasted like I had been chewing on loose change. I reached across the scratchy hospital sheet because I wanted to check my phone. I wanted to see that picture my dad promised to send of Joel eating the blue Jell-O he loved so much. Instead, my lock screen was completely clogged with notifications from Mrs. Harlan, the woman who lived two houses down from us in our little subdivision outside Paducah.